I AM a corby trouser press

I had a little accident today, and then supplemented it by gasing myself.

I landed badly at trampolining - landed on my neck and then proceeded to kick the bed either side of my head. This isn't some bizarre trampoline sex euphenism, I just snapped myself myself in half at speed. I don't know if you've ever whipped you feet to your ears at the speed of light, like a faulty camping bed, the jaws of a starving alligator, or a corby trouser press used without the safety bar being inserted properly, but it is not a pleasant process.

And so I am bundled in quilts on my sofa hopped up on codeine products and paint fumes.

Earlier today I decided to put my Lord of the Rings elves together. I was anticipating ages of carefully filing and scalpeling off mould lines and fighting to fit horribly moulded clubfeet onto stumpily moulded legs. But... 3 mouldlines.

Out of all 24 models. I had to remove 24 mouldlines.

And they weren't big. They weren't in the best places - across the details of helmets and a bit of gauntlet.

But I had to remove 3 mouldlines.

Gluing them together was a bit more interesting, but nowhere near the trauma it had been on previous models. I don't like the new head stump thing they've got going on for attaching heads. It makes them look like they've done nothing but barbell shrugs for their long elfy life, or have been stung by a giant bee in the midst of battle and POOF - fat allergy neck.

The way their heads are attached to sprues is stupid as well. By the chins! Not the back of the head or somewhere that's going to be glued to something else and so hidden. No, you have to cut their chins off the sprue as slowly as possible so you don't warp their tiny chins and end up with Munch's the Scream elves.

Or Roger Ebert elves. But that would be awesome. That man unabashedly marks films up for having nice boobs in it, and gives decent reviews on top. If you've not heard of him, or watched Siskel and Ebert, go google it. And then go email Disney to tell them they are dicks for removing Ebert's tribute to Siskel on copy right groups.

Anyway!

I had to pick up a new black primer the other day - Plasti-kote. I was a bit wary at first. Trying new spray always makes me a bit over-cautious because removing and redoing a prime job is so tedious. It came out gorgeously though! Definitely my favourite so far. Now I'm excited about my white running out so I can run and buy some white plasticote! Although I also discovered where I can buy rustoleum so I might have to pick up some of that next.

FYI plasticote and Rustoleum are available from Homebase and B&Q, in England.

Spraying was not done with adequate ventilation or gas masky goodness so on top of codeine I am fffuuuullll of paint. Hence no photos and a lack of coherency.

Lesson of the day is that corby trousers presses will injure you if you put them on a trampoline and Roger Ebert is a breast loving elf.

Good times.